What Is Spiritual Abuse?

Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs can be spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse can happen within a religious organisation or a personal relationship.

Spiritual abuse is not limited to one religion, denomination, or group of people. It can happen in any religious group, as an element of child abuse, elder abuse, or domestic abuse. Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence, can be a concern across relationships of all ages, genders, socioeconomic classes, ethnic groups, and locations. 

Abuse is a pattern in which one individual (whether an intimate partner or person with authority) uses fear, intimidation, violence, or other harm to control another. Abuse can cause serious trauma and have a significant impact on your mental health. It’s important to remember that abuse is never your fault.

Types of Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual abuse can take place in a variety of settings. A person doesn’t have to be a member of your family or a spiritual leader to spiritually abuse you.

• Used scripture or beliefs to humiliate or embarrass you
• Coerced you into giving money or other resources that you didn’t want to give
• Forced you to be intimate or have sex that you didn’t want
• Made you feel pressured or obligated to do things against your will

These abusive tactics are found both in large, well-recognized faith organisations and in cults. Often, leaders of pseudo-religious groups will use spirituality as a way to exert control over followers. This can have serious consequences for adults and children.

Spiritual Abuse at Home

Spiritual abuse doesn’t have to be perpetrated by a religious leader; it can also be a facet of domestic violence. Domestic violence is much more than physical violence — hitting, kicking, and slapping. It also has many psychological and emotional elements that cause a great deal of harm and distress. 

• Shame, make fun of, or ridicule your religious beliefs or practices
• Prevent you from practicing your religion in the way you would like
• Use your beliefs to manipulate or bully you
• Demand that your children be raised with/without a certain religion
• Use religious texts or beliefs to justify other kinds of abuse (physical, sexual, financial, etc.)

People who experience abuse often feel ashamed or isolated, and may wonder if they deserve to be treated badly. Abuse is never the fault of the victim. Whether at home or within a religious organisation, abuse is always the fault of the perpetrator.

Signs of Spiritual Abuse

Religion and spirituality should be a source of comfort, peace, community, and inspiration in your life. If that is not the case, you could be experiencing spiritual abuse.

You may be experiencing spiritual abuse if your religious leadership or intimate partner is using scriptures or religious beliefs to control your:

• Clothing
• Behavior
• Sexuality
• Decision making
• Choice to have children or not
• Finances

Dealing With Spiritual Abuse

If you feel that you are experiencing spiritual abuse — whether from a religious organisation or as an element of intimate partner violence — help is available. You do not need to endure this kind of trauma alone. You deserve to feel safe.