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Healthy Relationships

Overview

Different people define relationships differently. But in order for a relationship to be healthy, we need the same things that we need to make a pretty cake…taste delicious. Of course, what we need is the right ingredients!

Let’s start by adding “Healthy Communication”

​Safe honest and open communication is a key ingredient that will strengthen your relationship. Communication and openness are not just about solving problems but essential for getting to know how your partner thrives and how they feel.

By communicating with your partner you will get to know, what their needs are and what they want out of life, you will understand what their fears are and any struggles they are facing.

Communication doesn’t stop at just being verbal, a touch can speak volumes and convey how you feel, your body language and smile also counts.

​When building a relationship, make sure you both understand each other’s needs and expectations, because being on the same page is very important. Which means you have to talk to each other!

“A little time apart allows partners to look at each other with fresh eyes. After you’ve had a little “me time” you will both look forward to the “we time”.

The Details

Some of our tips may help you and your partner create and maintain a healthy happy relationship:

​Talk – In healthy relationships, if something is bothering you, don’t bottle it up! Talk about what ever is on your mind.

Be Supportive – Be reassuring and encourage each other. Let your partner know when you need them to support you. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not dragging each other down.

Compromise – We can’t always agree with everything. We all disagree with things from time to time and it’s natural in healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise when you do disagree on something. Talk about it , listen to each other, and try to figure out what it is, that will make both of you happy.

Respect each other – Your partner’s feelings matter, they have value, and so do yours! Let your partner know you are making a conscious effort to keep their ideas and feelings in mind. Mutual respect is vital in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Anger… Just isn’t worth it – Being angry in a relationship is a complete waste of time and energy because all it will do is make you self-absorbed and won’t allow you to see the good in anything or anyone. If you are annoyed with your partner or anyone else give yourself some time-out, allowing you some time to calm down. And once you have cooled-off, discuss what’s happening with your partner.

Have your own “Couples Bespoke Tradition” – Creating a little tradition with your partner can really help hold up a couple because these traditions become “your thing.” It may be a romantic dinner by candle light, a casual night out or watching a film on a certain day every week, these are the things that will give you both something to look forward to and also bring you closer together.

Just let it go… Don’t hold onto something your partner said or did last week or six months ago and bring it up each time you disagree on something. Do both of you a the biggest favour, and let it go!

Respect each other’s privacy – When you’re in a relationship it doesn’t mean you have to share everything and be together all of the time. Healthy relationships require personal space.

Healthy

A healthy relationship means that both you and your partner are:

  • Communicative. You talk openly about problems and listen to one another. You respect each other’s opinions.
  • Respectful. You value each other’s opinions, feelings, and needs, and give each other the freedom to be yourself and be loved for who you are.
  • Trusting. You believe what your partner has to say and don’t feel the need to “prove” each other’s trustworthiness.
  • Honest. You’re honest with each other but can still keep some things private.
  • Equal. You make decisions together and hold each other to the same standards. You and your partner have equal say with regard to major decisions within the relationship. All partners have access to the resources they need.
  • Setting boundaries. You enjoy spending time apart, alone, or with others. You respect each other’s need for time and space apart. You communicate with each other about what you are and aren’t comfortable with.
  • Practicing consent. You talk openly about sexual and reproductive choices together. All partners always willingly consent to sexual activity and can safely discuss what you are and aren’t comfortable with.
  • Parenting supportively. All partners are able to parent in a way that they feel comfortable with. You communicate together about the needs of the child(ren), as well as the needs of the parents.

Unhealthy

You may be in an unhealthy relationship if your partner is:

  • Non-communicative. When problems arise, you fight or you don’t discuss them at all.
  • Disrespectful. You or your partner behave inconsiderately toward the other.
  • Not trusting. You or your partner refuse to believe the other or feel entitled to invade their privacy.
  • Dishonest. You or your partner lie, omit, or obscure facts.
  • Taking control. You or your partner takes steps to suggest that one’s desires and choices are more important than another’s.
  • Isolating. Your partner restricts your contact with other people, either in person or online.
  • Pressured into sexual activity.One partner uses pressure or guilt against another to coerce them into sexual acts or reproductive choices.
  • Ignoring boundaries. It’s assumed or implied that only one partner is responsible for making informed decisions.
  • Unequal economically. Finances aren’t discussed. Financial decisions are made unilaterally or it’s assumed that only one partner is in charge of finances.

Abusive

A relationship is abusive when your partner:

  • Communicates harmfully. Your partner communicates or in a way that is hurtful, threatening, insulting, or demeaning.
  • Mistreats the other. Your partner doesn’t respect your thoughts, feelings, decisions, opinions, or physical safety.
  • Makes untrue accusations. Your partner accuses you of cheating or breaking the boundaries of your relationship. Your partner may escalate by creating situations where you need to “prove” your trustworthiness, like handing over your social media passwords.
  • Controls the other. There’s no equality in your relationship. One partner makes decisions without the other’s input, or makes all of the decisions in certain parts of the relationship, like finances.
  • Isolates the other. Your partner controls where you travel, who you talk to, or how you spend your time. This often includes physical or emotional isolation from your family and friends.
  • Forces sexual activity or controls reproductive choices.Your partner forces or pressures you to engage in sexual activity you don’t want to. Your partner controls your reproductive choices by sabotaging birth control, or by pressuring you to have or not have children.
  • Controls finances. Your partner controls the money and access to resources, including preventing you from earning an income or accessing their own income. Having an open, respectful dialogue about finances is not an option.
  • Manipulates children. Your partner uses your children to gain power and control over you, including telling them lies or baseless criticisms about you.
(National domestic violence hotline)

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