Child Grooming

Child grooming is befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child’s inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse.

​The first step is often someone befriending a young person to gain their trust and have control over them, this is called grooming. Child grooming is also regularly used to lure children and younger people into various illicit businesses such as child trafficking, child prostitution, cybersex trafficking, or the production of child pornography.

To establish a good relationship with a child and the child’s family, child groomers may do several things. Building a trusting relationship with the family means the child’s parents are less likely to believe potential accusations or they may try to gain the child’s or parents trust by befriending them, with the goal of easy access to the child.

A Child groomer may look for opportunities that allow them to spend time alone with the child, by offering to babysit or they may also invite the child for sleepovers. Commonly child groomers show pornography to the child or younger person and talk about sexual topics with the child, hoping to make it easy for the child to accept such acts, thus normalising the behaviour.

According to a 2013 report by the House of Commons Home Affairs Select Committee, after the group’s initial contact with the child, offers of treats (takeaway food, cigarettes, drugs) persuade the child to maintain the relationship. One abuser might present himself as the “boyfriend”; this person arranges for the child to have sex with other members of the group. Children may end up having sex with dozens of these group members, and may be trafficked to connected groups in other towns. The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre defines “local grooming” as follows:

Localised grooming is a form of sexual exploitation – previously referred to as ‘on street grooming’ in the media –where children have been groomed and sexually exploited by an offender, having initially met in a location outside their home. This location is usually in public, such as a park, cinema, on the street or at a friend’s house. Offenders often act together, establishing a relationship with a child or children before sexually exploiting them. Some victims of ‘street grooming’ may believe that the offender is in fact an older ‘boyfriend’; these victims introduce their peers to the offender group who might then go on to be sexually exploited as well. Abuse may occur at a number of locations within a region and on several occasions. ‘Localised grooming’ was the term used by CEOP in the intelligence requests issued to police forces and other service agencies in order to define the data we wished to receive.

Children can be groomed in the real world or online by someone they know, a complete stranger, faith leader or other and can lead to children being abused and raped. An abuser can be any age, even the same age as the child.

Grooming often involves the abuser providing something to a child which may be gifts, alcohol, drugs or even by showing a child affection, and victims are often tricked into thinking and believing their abuser is a friend or even a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Once an abuser gains the child’s trust and control over them, they will then move on to physically or sexually abusing a child.

Groomers may steer conversations towards sexual experiences, asking a child to send sexual photographs or videos of themselves which they may then use to blackmail the child, and often they threaten children by saying they will hurt their family or friends if they tell anyone what’s happening.

It’s important to spot the signs and if you suspect something is wrong don’t ignore it!

You can have restriction settings on mobile phones, computers or other online devices.

Let children and young people know they can talk to you about anything they want and let them know you’ll always listen and take them seriously.

Explain that it’s very easy for people to hide who they really are behind a screen and it’s also very easy to lie about their age, gender, hobbies and interests online.

Let children know under absolutely no circumstances should they agree or arrange to meet someone they don’t know. If someone does ask to meet them let them know the importance of telling you or another adult family member or adult they trust straight away.

Make sure children and young people know that they must never share personal details online, including pictures, birthdays, addresses or any other personal information.

ALWAYS call the police if a child goes missing, even if this happens regularly, Do not wait 24 hours before reporting a missing child.

​If you feel your child Is in immediate danger, please call the police on 999 or 101 if you believe a child is at risk.

If you’re worried take steps to keep children and young people safe.

Call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111 or online.