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Domestic Violence and Abuse

Overview

Many different types of domestic abuse and violence can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship. In the beginning of a relationship it can be difficult to know if a partner may become abusive.

Most abusive partners may seem the like the perfect partner in the early stages of a relationship. Controlling and possessive behaviours don’t always appear overnight, but over time they will emerge and intensify as the relationship grows. Every relationship is different therefore domestic abuse doesn’t look the same in all relationships. The one thing most abusive relationships do have in common is that the abusive partner often uses many different types and all different kinds of tactics to enable them to have more power and control over their partner.

Remember, any type of abuse is serious, and no one deserves to experience abuse of any kind or for any reason. If you have any concerns about what’s happening in your relationship, talk to someone who you trust, contact a domestic abuse service or organisation who have dedicated professionals, ready to listen and support you.

“Here at Rehouse to Rehome, we are always here for you and we will always listen to anything you want to talk about. We believe that communication is key to encouraging each other and by building one another up, many incredible things start to happen.”

The Details

In March 2013 the Government changed the definition of Domestic Violence. Domestic violence is now defined as;

“Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.”

This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse:

• Psychological

• Physical

• Sexual

• Financial

• Emotional

Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour is: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.” (HM Government, 2013) This definition, also includes so called ‘honour’ based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage.

Remember, any type of abuse is serious, and no one deserves to experience abuse of any kind or for any reason. If you have any concerns about what’s happening in your relationship, talk to someone who you trust, contact a domestic abuse service or organisation who have dedicated professionals, ready to listen and support you.

The signs of an abusive relationship can include a partner who:

Tells you that you can never do anything right
Prevents you or discourages you from seeing family members or friends• Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away

Insults, demeans or embarrasses you with criticism and put-downs

Controls all the money that is spent in the household

Takes away your money or refuses to give you any money for necessary expenses and essential items
Looks at you or acts in ways that make you afraid
Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
Does not allow you to make your own decisions
Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your child/children
Prevents you from workingPrevents you from attending college/university
Destroys your property/personal belongings
Threatens to hurt or kill your pets
Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to, or do sexual acts that you’re not comfortable with
Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol

Many different types of domestic abuse and violence can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship. In the beginning of a relationship it can be difficult to know if a partner may become abusive.

Our list of Domestic Abuse Helplines and websites that offer support:

Women’s Aid live chat service
Mon-Fri 10am-4pm and Sat-Sun 10am-12pm
You can also find your local domestic abuse service on their website’s Hestia
support and information for anyone who might be in an abusive relationship.
Download free mobile app, Bright SkyMen’s Advice Line – confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse
Phone: 0808 801 0327info@mensadviceline.org.uk

Grandparents Plus – supports kinship carers raising children who aren’t able to live with their parents
Phone: 0300 123 7015
advice@grandparentsplus.org.uk

Action on Elder Abuse helpline
If you want to discuss your concerns and get some advice, contact Action on Elder Abuse.
Telephone: 0808 808 8141

Live Fear Free helpline (Wales)
0808 80 10 800
www.livefearfree.gov.wales

Refuge
The freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247
Information can also be found online at www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

The Survivors Trust
The Survivors Trust is a national umbrella agency for over 120 specialist voluntary sector agencies providing a range of counselling, therapeutic and support services working with women, men and children who are victims/survivors of rape, sexual violence and childhood sexual abuse.
Support, Advice & Info:
0808 801 0818
www.thesurvivorstrust.org

Crimestopper
anonymously report suspicions of domestic abuse online or call free
Phone 0800 555 111National Stalking Helpline
for victims of stalking, their friends, family and professionals
Phone: 0808 802 0300
Stalking helpline enquiry formVictim Supportline
Victim Support operates a 24/7 Supportline offering emotional and practical support for anyone who has been a victim of crime or a witness who needs support or information.
The number is 0808 1689 111 and is free to call
Information can also be found online at www.victimsupport.org.uk
Men’s Advice Line – confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse
Phone: 0808 801 0327info@mensadviceline.org.uk
Cara-Friend
LGBT Switchboard NI offers a listening ear service to any and all lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people in Northern Ireland who would like to talk to someone, seek information or find out more about groups and events in the LGBT community. The volunteers can also offer support via email or online chat.
LGBT Switchboard NI
Bristol Mind – MindLine Trans+
Mindline Trans+ is an out of hours confidential helpline that offers emotional support and information to anyone who identifies as Trans+ (transgender, gender fluid and non-binary) and anyone wanting to talk about their gender identity. The helpline can also provide emotional support and information to family and friends. Callers will get through to a trained volunteer who has lived experience of Trans or Trans-Ally. Calls are charged at 3.5p per minute from landlines and may be included as part of your mobile phone contracts minutes. MindLine Trans+ is a joint service delivered by Mind in Bristol and Mind in Taunton & West Somerset.
Mermaids
Mermaids supports children and young people up to 19 years old suffering from gender identity issues, their families and supporting professionals. Support includes a helpline, email service, direct support, online forums for parents and teens, plus local and national meetings. These services provide a vital lifeline for young people and families searching for support and information. Calls to 0808 80 numbers are free from all landlines and mobiles in the UK and do not appear on itemised bills.
Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline
Provides an information, support and referral service for lesbians, gay men and bisexual and trans people, including anyone considering issues around their sexuality and/or gender identity. Also welcome calls from friends, parents or family members of LGBT+ looking for independent advice and support. Can help with issues including coming out, relationships, family problems, issues at work or college, safer sex and sexual health, having sex for the first time, looking for LGBT+ venues, LBGT+ social and support groups. Calls to the 0300 number will cost the same as calls to 01 and 02 numbers and are included in any call allowances.
Phone 0300 330 0630 LGBT+ Helpline
switchboard.lgbt
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
CALM offer confidential, anonymous and free support, information and signposting through the helpline or webchat. People can talk through a wide variety of issues including abuse, addictions, anger, depression, bullying, eating disorders, sexuality, work issues, racism, bereavement, suicide, divorce and more. The website holds information on a range of issues and lists national organisations offering support with some of these issues.
Phone 0800 585858 + webchat
Facebook
Twitter
Galop – National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline
Galop is an independent charity that provides support and advice to people who experience domestic violence and abuse, sexual violence or hate crime. The helpline provides emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence and abuse. Domestic abuse is a pattern of controlling behaviours that can encompass emotional, financial, sexual and physical violence.

LGBT Youth Scotland
Edinburgh: 0131 555 394
Glasgow: 0141 552 7425
Dumfries & Galloway: 01387 255058
Text 07786 202 370
Email info@lgbtyouth.org.uk
Helps lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender young people in Scotland who are experiencing domestic abuse

Karma Nirvana

national helpline for victims of honour-based abuse, forced marriage and domestic abuse
Phone: 0800 5999 247
support@karmanirvana.org.uk or send a secure message via the websiteChayn
online help and resources in several languages about identifying manipulative situations and how friends can help.Hourglass
confidential helpline for anyone concerned about abuse of an older person
Phone: 0808 808 8141

Muslim Women’s Network Helpline national specialist faith and culturally sensitive helpline that is confidential and free to access
Phone: 0800 999 5786
Text: 07415 206 936
info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

Family Lives
support through online forums

Ashiana Project
Provides temporary, safe housing for South Asian, Turkish and Iranian women aged 16-30 experiencing domestic violence. Helps those who may be suffering from violence and threats of violence at the hands of their family or community (honour-based violence) or from forced marriage.
Call 020 8539 0427 or
020 8539 9656

modern slavery helpline
www.modernslaveryhelpline.org
resources.

Forced Marriage Unit
The Government’s Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) is dedicated both to preventing British nationals being forced into marriage overseas and to assisting anyone in the UK faced with the prospect of being forced into a marriage. If you are worried that you might be forced into a marriage or are worried about someone else who may be you should contact FMU on:
www.gov.uk/forced-marriage
020 7008 0151

Foundation for Women’s Health Research & Development (FORWARD)
FORWARD (Foundation for Women’s Health Research and Development) is an African Diaspora women led UK-registered campaign and support charity dedicated to advancing and safeguarding the sexual and reproductive health and rights of African girls and women.
FORWARD work in the UK, Europe and Africa to help change practices and policies that affect access, dignity and wellbeing. They tackle female genital mutilation (FGM), child marriage and related rights of girls and young women.
www.forwarduk.org.uk
020 8960 4000

Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline
0800 027 1234
sdafmh.org.uk

Scottish Women’s Aid
0131 226 6606
www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk

AMINA Muslim Women’s Resource Centre
0808 801 0301
Provides counselling, befriending and advice services to help Muslim women live better and safer lives, free from discrimination and abuse.

Southall Black Sisters
Southall Black Sisters provides information, advice, advocacy, practical help, counselling and support to Asian, African-Caribbean and other minority women and children experiencing domestic and sexual violence (including forced marriage, dowry abuse and honour crimes) in English, Hindi, Punjabi, Gujarati and Urdu (language line is used for interpretation of other languages).
www.southallblacksisters.org.uk/ 0208 571 0800Imkaan
women’s organisation addressing violence against black and minority women and girls.
imkaan.org.uk/get-help
The Salvation Army Modern Slavery Human Trafficking HelplineUK
0300 303 8151

Iranian Kurdish Women’s Rights Organisation
support for Middle Eastern, North African and Afghan women and girls living in the UK
suffering from domestic abuse, forced marriage, FGM and honour-based abuse
Phone: 020 7920 6460 Mon-Fri 9:30am-5:30pm
Out of hours: Kurdish, Arabic, English 07846 275246
Farsi, Dari, English 07846 310157Stay Safe East:
advocacy and support services to disabled victims and survivors of abuse
Phone: 0208 519 7241
Text: 07587 134 122
enquiries@staysafe-east.org.ukSignHealth
domestic abuse support for deaf people in British Sign Language (BSL)
Phone: 020 3947 2601
Text, WhatsApp,
Facetime: 07970 350366
da@signhealth.org.uk

If a person is deaf or hard of hearing, support is available by contacting the NSPCC via SignVideo using your webcam. SignVideo, using British Sign Language, is available on PC, Mac, iOS (iPhone/iPad) and Android smartphones (4.2 or above).
This service is available Monday to Friday from 8am to 8pm and Saturdays from 8am to 1pm.

The Samaritans
Samaritans is available round the clock, every single day of the year. Providing a safe place for anyone struggling to cope, whoever they are, however they feel, whatever life has done to them.
Please call 116 123
email jo@samaritans.org,
or visit www.samaritans.org to find details of the nearest branch.
Tel: 116 123

Shout
Shout is the UK’s first free 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. It’s a place to go if you’re struggling to cope and you need immediate help.
Text Shout to 85258
giveusashout.org

Papyrus
Support for anyone under 35 experiencing thoughts of suicide, or anyone concerned that a young person may be experiencing thoughts of suicide.
HOPELINEUK – 0800 068 4141Maytree
Maytree, provide people in the midst of a suicidal crisis with the opportunity for rest and reflection, and give them the opportunity to stay in a calm, safe and relaxed environment.
Maytree can support four “guests” at a time. The service runs 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
These warm and friendly volunteers and staff team spend up to 77 hours with each guest over their stay, giving them the opportunity to talk through their fears, thoughts and troubles. On leaving, each guest receives a goodbye letter. This is a personal record written by a member of Maytree’s staff team which reflects their stay, validates their struggles and honours their achievements.
Tel: 020 7263 7070
maytree.org.uk
YoungMinds
Parents’ Information Service gives advice to parents or carers who may be concerned about the mental health or emotional wellbeing of a child or young person.
Helpline: 0808 802 5544
youngminds.org.uk
RASAC (Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre)

National helpline for survivors of rape and childhood sexual abuse (male and female), their families and friends.  Provides emotional and practical support.

Rape Crisis
Rape Crisis Centres offer a range of services for women and girls who have been raped or experienced another form of sexual violence.
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
0808 802 9999

Family Matters
If you have been subjected to sexual abuse and rape, one of your biggest challenges will be taking the decision to talk to someone.
Family Matters know this can seem an enormous and daunting step. Established in 1990, they are a specialised charitable service and the largest provider of childhood sexual abuse and rape therapy in the country. Family Matters work extends across 14 boroughs in Kent, Surrey and South East London helping over 4000 people each year.
Helpline: 01474 537392
familymattersuk.org

Women Against Rape
This is the joint website of  Women Against Rape and Black Women’s Rape Action Project. Both organisations are based on self-help and provide support, legal information and advocacy. We campaign for justice and protection for all women and girls, including asylum seekers, who have suffered sexual, domestic and/or racist violence.
womenagainstrape.net

Survivors UK – Male Rape & Sexual Abuse
If you have been subjected to male rape or sexual abuse, one of your biggest challenges will be taking the decision to talk to someone. Survivors UK know this can seem an enormous and daunting step.  Anxiety and fear are among the most common emotions experienced by the abused.  But these feelings do become easier and people can, and do, successfully go on to explore their past and its links with today in making sense of recurring problems. Survivors UK offer emotional support by our Chat Service and SMS
survivorsuk.org

ACAS
The Pay and Worker’s Rights Helpline
Multi Lingual Support
UK 0300 123 1100

Bullying UK
Phone: 0808 800 2222

Bipolar UK (18-25) UK
0333 323 3880
info@bipolaruk.org

Saheliya
0131 556 9302
Supports the mental health and well-being of black and minority ethnic women in Scotland.

Reunite International Child Abduction Center UK
(0) 1162 556 234 (Advice Line)
reunite@dircon.co.uk

Premier Lifeline
Part of The National Chrisian Helpline
0300 111 0101
lifeline@premier.org.uk

Addiction Helper
For Support with Drug Addiction
0800 138 7177 / 0203 131 8340
OR Text Help to 66777
info@addictionhelper.com

FRANK UK
0300 123 6600 / Text 82111
frank@talktofrank.com
OR Online Chat from 2pm-6pm

Missing PeopleUK
116 000 (Call or Text)
1166000@missingpeople.org.uk

Revenge Porn Helpline UK
Phone:0345 6000 459
help@revengepornhelpline.org.uk

alcoholics anonymous
great britain
if you need help with a drinking problem either phone our national helpline
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk