I listened to his apology and watched him cry while begging me to give him another chance and he swore to me that it would never happen again, because he didn’t want to be anything like his dad who beat his mother throughout his childhood. I believed him because I wanted to and then I forgave him.

The abuse became worse after our first daughter was born, the apologies slowly fizzled away, and the dream of a happy life became a nightmare.
He also beat me during and throughout my second pregnancy.

Years passes and one morning he turned his anger to our 6 year old daughter by shaking and slapping her across her face and then he went to work like it was normal but the second he drove off I packed our clothes and we went to stay with my mum.

Telling my mum and finally explaining the reasons I rarely saw her was because either I was threatened of what would happen if I did or I couldn’t because I was covered in bruises, was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and it broke her heart like I knew it would because even though she raised me without my father, she did raise me to be respectful, independent and strong enough to always stand up for myself. That made me feel in a sense of guilt because I didn’t want mum to think she had failed me or done something wrong. I told her that I fell for his charm, lies, apologies and I made a promise to her that I would never welcome this man in to mine or the girls lives again.

I broke my promise and after the endless bouquets of flowers he sent with the millions of letters, messages and phone calls, I gave in and I forgave him again 3 weeks before the first lockdown last year and it almost cost me my life.
On the second week that we was in isolation he held my head under my bath water until I was unconscious, then he dragged me out of the bath and started kicking then beating me.

The same night me and my girls was in a refuge.

We’ve spent that time since then in refuge with nothing and no one who we know. I didn’t call my mum because I was too ashamed after she begged me not to go back and her words “it will kill me if you do” never left me.

Last week I was given the news that we had a unfurnished property we could move in but I had nothing except our clothes.
If I didn’t take the property we could have stayed in refuge but that would mean me falling further behind the housing system and who knows how long it would have been before I was offered something else.

Tuesday my key worker rang absolutely everywhere possible to try and get help with furnishings but had no joy.
I found the strength to call my ex and ask him for some of the girls things and mine but he laughed telling me to f*** off and I don’t have ‘the balls’ to go back to the house.

That afternoon Francine called me back and this women changed everything.

After I told Francine everything she assured me not to worry and she would pull out all stops to make sure we did have the furnishings and electrical items we needed items and said “accept the property” I was over the moon but she didn’t stop there.

Thursday Francine came with me to the house to gather all the girls things and the things I wanted.
My ex was very firmly but very professionally in put in his place when he tried raising his voice at me, Francine said something along the lines of ‘this can go two ways, which way do you want?”
I could have literally punched the sky at that unforgettable power moment!!!

Yesterday we moved into our home and we are so happy I can’t even explain. We are so so so grateful to you Francine, to your organisation and for the people who support you.
I’ll never know how to try and repay you for buying and giving us literally everything to make our home perfect and the fresh start we have for our happiness.

If anyone is reading this and thinking about giving someone who hurts you a second chance, please I beg you to think again because that hurt turns into pain and that pain almost cost me my life.

P.s Francine thank you for your words of advice too. I called mum and we all can’t wait till she can come and spend time with us and vice versa when ever we want, which will be every opportunity.
We all can’t wait to see you again too.
Thank you for doing everything you have done for me, my girls, my mum and other families who find themselves in the situations we we’re in.
Thank you with all my heart forever and ever.

​Bridget (Survivor)

Next story – Eve’s story.